"Get it wrong, stay strong. You call someone Alan at a party, and their name’s Paul? Call them Alan for the rest of the night, call him it so often that you make that motherfucker have an identity crisis. Get it wrong, stay strong! Toilet door opens by mistake while you’re taking a shit? Make the person who catches you think you meant it all along. Get it wrong, stay strong! Accidentally ask a larger lady if she wants your seat because you think she’s pregnant? Make her think there is something actually growing in her uterus. Get it wrong, stay strong! You’re making out with a girl and she tells you to stop? No, that’s a trick question. You fucking stop."
— Jack Whitehall (via kissinghiminneverland)